Last Daughter of Argo City
by 2shoes
Summary: I'm loving the new Supergirl series on TV. But the show would have us believe that Kara Zor-El was born on Krypton, and was Superman's older cousin. Close, but not quite. Origin stories may need to evolve over time, but DC never respected Supergirl's dramatic origin, or treated it fairly. For almost three decades, her story went a little more like this...
1. Last Daughter of Argo City

"Kara, don't tell your dad that Otto will be with us," urged Kurt-El, as my friends and I approached my father Zor-El's work chamber.

Otto-Em looked away in shame.

"I won't lie to my dad", I replied, shaking my head vigorously. I touched Otto-Em's arm reassuringly. "And I will never deny that Otto is my friend."

Morina touched Otto's other arm, and she nodded in agreement.

Kurt-El raised his hand defensively. "No offense Otto, but we all know the history between Zor-El and your dad, and I don't want it to be a problem."

"We aren't kids anymore," I said loudly, not caring who heard. "Dad doesn't choose my friends for me."

But as I left my friends behind and walked through the door, I bit my lip and slouched, preparing for a retreat.

Dad and I fought every day, it seemed. He made me so mad sometimes, but I vowed to take a deep breath before losing my temper. I used to say many things I would regret, but I think I was maturing. I would remember how he and I came from different worlds – literally.

Many years ago, he was a famous engineer, and my mom was a brilliant astronomer on Krypton. That world sounded like a fairy tale to me. A world of billions with amazing technology and fine arts and beautiful landscapes. Then, in a blink of an eye, that world was gone.

Mom and dad were stationed safely on the mining asteroid of Argo City, millions of miles away, when disaster struck. Luck had nothing to do with it; my dad's brother tipped him off that something was going very wrong, and unlike most people, my dad actually listened. Mom was the first to see the destruction of Krypton in the observatory. The giant planet was no more, and suddenly all that was left of Krypton were 848 inhabitants living under a five mile wide dome hurtling through space.

Fortunately, the survivors were mostly scientists, and they miraculously turned the mining asteroid into a self-sufficient sanctuary.

Unfortunately, those same survivors were mostly older men, and no children at all. So the few young women alive were compelled to re-populate society. It was a cruel and unfair burden, yet the fruit of those desperate laws were a few dozen of us, just a few years apart in age, now approaching adulthood ourselves. We were a generation made not from love but from need. Whenever our parents talked to us, they reminded us of the golden days on Krypton, before that world ended. They created us to give themselves a future, but they never stopped wishing for the past.

So when dad and I fought, I would remind myself of everything he had lost, and how hard life must have been those early days. I hoped he understood how difficult our lives were as well. We never asked to be born into these tragic times. We wanted our parents to see us for who we are, not what we could be for them. If we were to be the future, then we wanted some say to what kind of future.

I felt an ember of anger burning, as I walked down the hallway of dad's work chamber, and then stopped at the open doorway to his laboratory.

Dad was there, as he always seemed to be, but nothing else felt right. Dad hid what he was working on. He turned toward me, but did not look me in the eye. His normally well-groomed hair was pulled in every direction. He neglected to shave. And a bottle lay shattered on the floor in a corner, with no attempt to clean it up. My feet were bare, so I walked gingerly inside. I was about to clean up the mess when my father asked:

"What do you want?" The question seemed rude, but the way he said it sounded caring, as though he intended to grant a wish.

I just stared at him. I was accustomed to angry dad, stern dad and funny dad, but not this guy. I did not know him, and it scared me a bit.

Finally, I said, "I, uh, want to go out with my friends to the star strip and hang out."

I pressed my fingernails into my palm until it hurt, bracing for an argument or at least a long series of questions.

But dad just nodded serenely and said, "Have a good time, Kara. In fact …" He reached into a cabinet and withdrew a bottle of some very old and fancy liquor and handed it to me. "Live life to the fullest. Don't waste a moment."

Then he walked out of the room without another look or word.

What the fuck was that?! No, no, no, that was all wrong!

But I looked at the bottle in my hand and collected myself. I shrugged, shook my head, and smiled until things felt right again. I told myself, "that could not have gone better in my wildest dreams!" as I skipped down the hall back to my friends.

"Well?" Otto, Morina and Kurt asked all at once.

I tossed the bottle to Kurt and smiled wickedly, "We are golden."

* * *

The star strip was an acre sized patch of land on one edge of the city dome, just beyond the farms and orchards that provided Argo City with all of its food. Being so far from the center of the city, the artificial gravity was weaker under the strip, so walking and jumping felt effortless. Air circulating around the dome accelerated at the edges, creating a strong breeze. Very little light reached the edge of the dome, so the only plants that would grow were grasses and a few old trees that rose above the orchards. The ground below was in a permanent twilight. When the main lights of the city were dimmed to simulate night, the star strip went completely black, except for the brilliant star light and a beautiful glow from the red sun beyond, just below the horizon. Older folk wistfully compared the star strip to romantic get-aways on Krypton, decades before.

They knew very well what their children were doing there these days.

Kurt nudged me, as he tossed his cloak at the foot of a tree, and presented himself naked before me. "Let's do our duty, and make a baby."

Otto laughed awkwardly as he turned away.

Morina rolled her eyes. "Subtle."

I laughed and said, "Kurt, have you ever done something because it was your duty?"

He seemed deep in thought for a moment. "Hmm, good point, I don't think so."

"Then why start now?" I said, as I opened the bottle of liquor and took a quick shot. I felt a shock tingle through my body. Oh Rao, this shit was divine! Between the drink and the low gravity, I felt lightheaded. I must have zoned out, before I realized I was staring right at Kurt's dick, which seemed to be growing by the second. I gave Kurt the bottle with a nudge of my own. "But let's just see where a few chugs of this leads!"

Those words were music to Kurt's ears, and inspiration to other body parts. He took a chug and handed it down the line.

After the bottle was passed around a few times, we were all feeling pretty good, but standing around with only one of us naked was getting a little old.

"What the fuck," said Otto, as he let his cloak drop.

Morina and I glanced at each other, and then did likewise.

Kurt predictably clapped his hands, saying, "So shall we get down to it?"

I rolled my eyes, but honestly, that is what I came here for. Now that I had time to think it through, there was so much wrong with what we were thinking of doing.

First of all, Otto and Morina were not into each other at all, and they both looked very uncomfortable at the thought.

Secondly, I really hated that this is exactly what society wanted for us to do. Argo City was in a population crisis. While the law no longer required that we have children, contraceptives were illegal, and all four of us were already stigmatized for not getting the ball rolling. Kurt and I were arraigned by our parents to be together, even though we were cousins. None of the old rules applied when half of the population was related, and the whole world of possibilities was just a few dozen guys. I had nothing against Kurt, but if I had sex, I wanted for it to mean something to me. And truth be told, I was not eager to have children. Right now, I just wanted to have some fun.

When it was clear that Kurt had nothing else on his mind, I tried a distraction. "I know, I brought a flying disk, so let's play some zoomron!"

Kurt, clearly disappointed, said. "Is that what we got naked for?"

"We could play tackle zoomron...?" I offered, with a sly smile.

"Ok, now you are talking!" he replied, and to prove his one track mind, added, "Let's play boys against girls." Kurt squared off against me, leaving Otto to square off against Morina.

Omg, how blind was Kurt?

Otto groaned audibly, as he looked disapprovingly at Morina.

The look on her face made me wince, and what she said made me gasp: "Oh shut up Otto, and just suck Kurt's dick already."

Otto shot right back: "Only if you pet Kara's pussy, like you've always wanted."

I laughed, but Morina went silent. Did she really think I didn't know?

"Kara, I … uh … don't know…" she stammered.

"Don't worry about it." I gave her a quick, immodest hug. "You can pet me anywhere, anytime."

I could barely tell in the subdued, reddish light, but I thought I saw her blush.

"So we are not playing boys against girls?" Kurt asked cluelessly.

Suddenly, inexplicably, I felt really good, like I was exactly where I belonged in the universe. When I was with most other kids our age, I felt insecure, awkward and totally undesirable, but with my friends, I felt in charge and free to be myself.

"No, Kurt," I replied, moving beside him, very close, facing off against Otto and Morina. "You and I are a team. I'm too small to tackle on my own, so I need someone strong to help out."

Feeling appropriately flattered, Kurt agreed.

I tossed the disk into the air, then Kurt and Otto leapt for it together, fighting to take control of the disk like it really mattered. Morina and I pretended to join the fray, but really we were just grabbing their arms a little, laughing and exchanging glances. And that is how the game went on for about half an hour. Otto never seemed happier, and in the heat of competition, Kurt barely remembered I was there.

Now, with the boys both good and exhausted, being naked was just a little naughty fun, nothing more. I suddenly remembered that we still had most of the bottle of liquor left. We sat under a tree, and finished it off slowly. We joked and bitched and philosophized deeply and confessed our most embarrassing sins, until we were all drunk and sleepy. The rest of the night was a total mystery.

* * *

"KARA!" screamed my father's voice, interrupting my dreamless bliss. I opened my eyes, winced away the ache of a slight hangover, and took in my surroundings. Somehow, I had made it home last night. I was wearing Morina's oversized cloak, and my body was covered in dirt. "KARA! COME DOWN!"

"OK DAD! JUST GIVE ME A COUPLE MINUTES!"

"NOW!"

I rolled out of bed and looked myself over. Hopeless. Had he seen me stumble in last night? Was I in some kind of trouble? Hey, he was the one that suggested that I live life to the fullest. I tried to bat my bedhead down into a minor disaster, as I followed my father's voice into the main living area.

I stood confused at the doorway. Dad was dressed in his most formal orange and green suit, with the full family crest in front. More surprisingly, Mom was sitting in the chair next to him, also dressed formally. She held the family cat, while tears rolled down her eyes.

I felt like I was dreaming. Dad never dressed so formally, and mom…well, she was autistic. I hadn't seen her leave the observatory in months. I had never seen tears in her eyes, and my eyes immediately followed suit as I asked, "Daddy, what's going on?"

I sat down at his prompting, and tried to wait patiently as he paced around the room, deep in thought.

Finally, he said, "Your mom found something at the observatory a few days ago."

He paused for a moment to see if I was tracking him. I choked on my words, "W-what did she find?"

"A meteor shower moving into our orbit," he said, giving me the news straight. "We spent the past two days calculating its trajectory. We ran the numbers several times. Our orbits will collide in 27 days."

I looked back and forth between dad and mom, hoping for some news to cushion the blow. My generation was raised knowing our tiny sanctuary in space was in a precarious situation, but every time something threatened our survival, we lucked out, or one of our brilliant scientists found a solution. "So? What do we do about it?"

Mom spoke the first word I had heard from her lips in over a year. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" I repeated, laughing a little bit to ward off panic. "You mean…"

Dad raised his hand and shushed me gently. "Don't worry, Kara. I'll think of something. We will survive, I promise."

Dad never broke a promise to me, but I understood he was only promising to do his best, and the look of defeat already weighing down his eyes and posture told me he had no faith in his own abilities. I covered my face, as the totality of what my parents were saying gradually dawned on me. "What about our home?"

Dad could not look at me. "Argo City will be destroyed. Nothing can stop that."

"But where will we go? You always told me that we didn't have the resources to build a new dome on another asteroid, and that the freight ships were too slow to take us anywhere."

Dad stared at me, suddenly stern. "No more questions. We are gathering at the city arena, where most of Argo will learn what I just told you. You need to clean up and get ready."

* * *

The city arena was empty when we arrived, but within a half hour, everyone in world was there. All 1000 of them. Kurt, Morina and Otto walked in together after just about everyone else. Dad was making sure my mom was comfortable in the front, while I slipped away to be with my friends.

Morina and Otto were both dressed up, having got the memo that this was a formal occasion. But they were laughing and joking, as though we had never left the star strip last night.

Kurt, in fact, was still dressed in a cloak. He shrugged, "Hey they just told me to come, not to get all fancy."

Otto laughed. "That's ok, Kurt, we couldn't imagine you any other way."

Morina eyed me quizzically, and teased innocently, "Why so serious?"

I couldn't speak. All I could see was the bright glow of their happiness and innocence, and I wanted so much to keep that glow alive, just a little longer. Instead, I burst into tears.

The depth of the loss facing us was pounding my heart and soul in painful waves of recognition. The loss would be total. We would lose our lives. Our possessions. Our hopes. Our memories. Our legacies. Each other. And we would lose everything together.

My friends asked me what was wrong. I opened my mouth to answer, but when I looked into their eyes, my throat choked up, and I couldn't speak. They tried to comfort me, but I only cried more. We had lived our whole lives on this asteroid under constant threat of destruction, but the danger had never felt real before now. Our parents reassured us throughout lives, keeping hope alive. They were doing that even today. But now I saw through the lie, and I could not bear it. I hated that I couldn't keep that lie alive for my friends, because the growing awareness in their eyes was killing me.

A few minutes later, my dad was introduced, and he wasted no time in delivering the bad news to the whole community. Unlike me, the older folk took it in stride. After Krypton died, they lived their lives as if they were on borrowed time, waiting for fate to call their number-as if they had gone through the stages of grief long ago, so they skipped right to acceptance. Now fate was catching up with us, and they were ready for it. They asked many questions, but they already knew this meant total destruction. They already knew Argo City could not avoid the meteors. They already knew that the few space ships available could hold only a few people for a few days, and they already knew there was no place to escape to.

After a few questions, the discussion turned to how we would face our fate.

Morina , Otto and I clinged to each other, not quite able to process all that was happening. Kurt sat alone, sober faced, and looking clueless. I thought he was having trouble absorbing the news. Later I would learn otherwise.

When my father left the podium, the arena remained mostly silent. Many of us were at a loss about how to face the final weeks of our lives.

Otto's father Jer-Em then took the podium. He carried an ornate copy of "The Book of Rao", and was dressed in a purple robe worn only by the religious Guild. Jer-Em was a priest of Rao and a mystic. His words were respected by many, mocked by others, but feared by all for his power to persuade. Every controversial policy and law in the city had his fingerprints on it.

Otto buried his face in Morina's lap, afraid of what his dad might say. Kurt and I each gave him a pat on his back.

"Today we have learned a terrible truth,"Jer-Em began solemnly, "but this day was written in the book, and the signs have warned that the day of passage was near. Now it is upon us. It is understandable if we hesitate before the unseen. That is why Rao gave us a reprieve before calling us back to communion with all souls of Krypton. But we shall not fear. We shall not fight our fate. This was all part of Rao's plan. We have proven ourselves worthy. Soon we will all enter paradise together."

I found myself nodding along with Jer-Em, eager to believe his words. In the past my friends and I had secretly mocked Jer-Em's devotion and advocacy for the Guild's old beliefs. But now that we faced what seemed like meaningless and complete devastation, Jer-Em was the only voice that offered hope.

I looked at my father, who was seated near the podium. I could see that he was fuming. He knew that whenever Jer-Em offered hope, it inevitably led to more suffering. Yet I could not imagine Jer-Em making matters any worse.

* * *

Jer-Em left the podium to a trickle of affirmations, after which the event organizer said a few final words, asking for people to remain calm, to keep doing their jobs, and to remember that we were all in this together. With the formal speeches concluded, the crowd slowly disbursed into small groups. If everyone was feeling what I felt, none of us wanted to leave. We needed to be with other people at that moment. We needed to talk about our fate.

I asked Otto, "Is what your dad said true? Is there really a place we go when we die?"

Otto looked at me as though I had asked him to explain the physics of warp drive. "How the fuck should I know!"

I looked down, too anxious and sad to feel embarrassed. "Sorry, I don't know about these things. My parents are in the science Guild. We never talk about religious stuff. But your dad seems so sure, and now I feel like maybe this 'paradise' he talked about is our only hope."

Otto shook his head, "Dad believes that crap, but he didn't say that stuff to make people feel better. With dad everything is right or wrong. He was drawing a line in the sand and saying 'you better feel this way'. Because anything else is an abomination before Rao. Personally, I really hope dad is wrong about a lot of things."

Kurt-El cut in, "Jer-Em said that stuff because he wanted to strike first against the House of El."

"What do you mean?" I asked, stunned . "What does our family have to do with this?"

Kurt replied mysteriously, "I'm not sure, but Jer-Em always attacks our family, like we are devils. He made fun of Jor-El when he warned about the end of Krypton, and when Jor-El proved to be right, he accused Jor-El of sorcery. When our families put criminals into the Phantom Zone, he called it a moral disgrace. Whenever your dad talked about solving problems with technology, he would always say we were turning away from the will of Rao."

I was amazed that Kurt knew so much more about our family's history than I did. Dad never talked about it, but apparently Nim-El told his son a lot. I was ashamed of all the things I should have known about my family, but had never cared to learn about. Now, with little time left, those things seemed important to me.

Those things were not important to Morina, though, who finally exclaimed in frustration. "Who the fuck cares?" The tears in her eyes belied her words. She continued in a monotone, "Nothing matters anymore. And I don't care. This world always sucked, and now I'm glad it's over."

Her words left us silent, feeling deflated. The moment was intolerable. Then Otto led us into a group hug that I wanted to go on for a long, long time.

* * *

"Dad, why do you and that preacher guy hate each other?" I blurted out when I next saw my father at home later in the day.

Zor-El was fighting with some machinery in his work shop at the time, and he was not pleased at the interruption. But when he thought about my words, he calmed down and shook his head. "Oh Kara, I don't hate Jer-Em. I just think he is dangerous. I respect his views… well, maybe respect isn't the right word, but I tolerate them. Yet he doesn't tolerate anyone else's views. Intolerance is always dangerous."

"Why were you so angry in the arena?" I asked, frustrated by his half-answer. "What is Jer-Em so against?"

Dad sighed. "The Phantom Zone. Everything about it. He knows that a lot of people will want to try their luck with the zone rather than trust a god to deliver them to a life beyond death."

"Is that something we could do?" My eyes brightened with hope. "Can we be saved in this zone?"

Dad shook his head firmly. "No, we don't know anything about the zone. We only know how to send people there. We don't even know if we are sending them to their deaths or to some kind of permanent limbo. Only one person has ever come back from the zone. Quex-Ul was sentenced there for a crime it turned out he didn't commit, so we brought him back. But by then his mind was gone. We have no idea what happened to him, but it was bad. I wouldn't want to chance the same thing happening to us. Maybe having faith in a deity is the right choice, like Jer-Em believes, but nobody really knows. And it's not right for Jer-Em or anyone else to dictate how people live their lives, or what people put their hopes in. That's what I was angry about."

I asked quizzically, "But if we are not escaping to the Phantom Zone, and we are not relying to Rao to save us, then how will we survive?"

Dad paused for a long moment, before finally replying. "I'm sorry to be so secretive, Kara, but I think it's best that nobody knows about that for now. But believe me, I promise you, I have a plan to keep you safe."

"You mean keep US safe," I asked, not liking the omission one bit.

"Oh yes, of course," Dad raised his hand dismissively. "Keep us safe."

* * *

Later, my friends and I met at the star strip again, but the mood was very different this time. No more nude hijinks, but damn we could have used some more of that liquor.

Kurt-El was alone looking through the transparent dome at the stars above when I arrived. "I'm looking for the meteor shower that will hit us," he explained.

"Must be millions of miles away right now," I replied. Astronomy might have been the only science thing I knew more about than Kurt. I looked around the sky for a moment. "There. My mom found the meteors hidden in that constellation," I stood really close to him so he could see where I was pointing.

Kurt looked at me with a sad look in his eyes. His hair was a total mess, and he wore a dirty white shirt with torn black pants. With so much doom and gloom in the air, under those stars, I felt more attracted to him now than to anyone, ever. What the fuck was wrong with me?

Just then Morina and Otto arrived together.

Morina was carrying a music cube, and Otto carried a large bag full of food.

"I hope you guys want to hang for a while," Otto said, "because if we only have a few weeks left, I don't want to spend any of those hours at home."

"Sure Otto," Kurt said, as he looked into the bag. "Now what kind of food are you trying to bribe us with?"

Morina and I laughed. It was a good laugh, not very forced. Being alone with my friends made everything seem more ok, somehow.

"Is it just me," Otto began, looking at us carefully, "but it doesn't feel like such a bad night to me. Not like we are in any danger, anyway."

Kurt nodded, "I was just thinking that when I arrived."

"Well of course YOU TWO would feel that way," Morina said, with equal parts of sarcasm and teasing.

Otto and Kurt replied at the same time: "What do you mean?"

"Well, I never thought either of you would think twice about dying, after what you did on the tower."

I laughed, while the two boys glanced at each other, embarrassed.

About three years ago, Kurt and Otto dared each other to climb the tower at the center of the city. The tower was actually a huge antenna from the old days, when there was actually someone out there for us to communicate with. The tower reached almost to the top of the dome, more than a quarter mile above the ground.

"What the hell were you thinking, anyway?"

Otto shrugged, "I'm not sure I was thinking at all. I just didn't want for this show-off to beat me."

Kurt defended, "I just knew nobody had ever climbed it before, and I wanted to be the first."

The first third of the climb was easy. The climb at that point stops on a landing, and most people in the city hiked up that far at least once. It was a really spectacular view. I remember looking above, and thinking the next hundred yards didn't look very hard, but when I looked down, I got queasy. Some more adventurous souls climbed a bit further. But Kurt and Otto climbed almost to the very top, stopping only where the tower tapered into a smooth thick pole.

Kurt smiled sheepishly. "It just didn't occur to us until we got to the top that eventually we would have to come down."

The whole city had scornfully watched as Otto and Kurt stopped climbing with the crest almost within reach. But scorn turned to concern when the boys just stalled there, neither going higher nor coming back down.

Otto added. "I almost fell a couple of times while we were climbing. I knew I would never survive climbing back down."

Nobody wanted to climb up after them. After a few hours, the engineers did something never done before or since: They lowered the artificial gravity to the whole city so that Kurt and Otto could simply jump down from 1500 feet and not be hurt.

Kurt smiled brightly. "That was the coolest thing ever, sky diving without a chute or anything!"

We all laughed.

"My dad was SO mad," I said, "but I was having so much fun, jumping over tall building in a single bound."

"Yeah, the way it ended was really fun, "Morina said, "but you guys really didn't seem to be afraid of dying or anything, climbing up that tower."

Kurt was suddenly more serious. "Yeah, but it's much different now. We were pretty stupid, and I guess I never really believed we could die."

Morina wanted to change the topic, so she started up the music cube. A mix of songs from the old world started playing with a full sound, but just quiet enough to talk over.

"Oh I love this song!" I said, as Morina and I broke into a dance. We danced often together, so we were in perfect step as we rocked, bumped and flirted to the fast beat.

Dancing was not the boys' thing, so while we got a workout, they sat down on a clear spot of dirt and played a familiar strategy game using only the stones found near them.

After three fast songs, a slow romantic song snuck into the mix, and Morina loved any excuse to slow dance with me. That meant touching. Honestly, I didn't know if I liked that. It felt nice. It also felt weird. But I knew it meant a lot to Morina, so I was happy to do it, even if she got eager hands sometimes.

"Remember when we all got together for the first time?" Kurt asked, speaking over the music.

Of course we all remembered. We had all been very young, barely hitting puberty, and suffering from respiratory problems. In fact, most of the children of the new generation were feeling ill, but we were the sickest, so we were put in the same room in the hospital. Morina fell into a coma and nearly died there. This was the first of many times where Argo City was in a panic that the society might go extinct. The usual leaders came forth to shape public opinion. Jer-Em blamed Argo City's sinful ways for the curse. The science Guild examined the problem, and found that the sickness was caused by the ground the children were playing on. Poisonous gases from deep within the asteroid were seeping through the terraformed land above. Once identified, engineers like Zor-El found ways to block the gasses, and life slowly returned to normal.

Morina replied, "Yeah, that was a real scary time."

Kurt nodded. "I think that's why I don't feel so scared right now. I mean, back then everyone was thinking we were going to die, then the Science Guild found the answer in the last minute. I feel like the same thing will happen this time."

Otto added, "We were all together then. We are all together now. It feels the same."

"That's right!" Morina agreed hopefully. She looked at me and asked, "The Guild is full of freaking geniuses. Kara, do you really think they can't do anything to fix this?"

Otto and Kurt turned to me as well. They all knew my family would be involved in any plan to save the city, and they assumed dad would tell me if he knew of anything. Maybe that's why dad was keeping secrets.

I shrugged, but tried to smile reassuringly. "My dad sounds grim, but he keeps telling me we'll be ok. I think he has some ideas."

I felt a glimmer of hope sparking among us. I didn't give them much, but it was the first hopeful thing they heard all day, so they seized on it.

"Everyone says your father can create miracles," Morena said, then she choked up a bit as I held her tight. "I mean … he created you. You are a miracle, Kara. I'm gonna miss you … I mean, I would if I could. I would miss you all so much."

"Oh my lord, Morena, shut up," I sighed, as I embraced her. I squeezed my eyes tightly, and the only thought that pulsed through my mind like an angry prayer was, Dad you'd better be able to save us all!

* * *

We met like that at the star strip every day for two weeks. The strip was not a private hangout, however, and several times ran across kids from other neighborhoods. They told us how the rest of our generation was holding up. Everyone was approaching these end times differently. One group of the really smart kids worked with the Science Guild, trying to figure out an answer. Another group devoted the rest of their lives to hedonism, while yet another spent every day in the temple.

The adults at first obeyed the authorities' call to keep going to work, but a few people at a time just stopped showing up. Argo City had plenty of food stored up to last the final few weeks, but the markets emptied quickly, so citizens crowded the storage houses, and many of us younger people went straight to the fields and orchards and picked our food directly from the plants.

People still held onto their hopes. The glue that held society together was just a sticky mess, getting weaker by the day. The glue still held, but collapse felt imminent.

* * *

One morning, my dad slept later than me for perhaps the first time in his life. He was working day and night, determined to not waste a single moment on transient things, but exhaustion finally claimed him and imprisoned him in sleep. He had collapsed in his workshop on a chair with his head hung at an awkward angle. I entered the room to find my mother dragging his chair towards a sofa. I helped her get my father into position and roll him onto the soft cushions, then cover him with a blanket.

When I looked up at my mom's face, I was surprised to see her smiling. No, more than smiling. I could see wonder in her eyes.

"What is it, mom?" I asked, not expecting an answer.

But mom turned away from me and walked towards her study under the observatory. Somehow I knew she wanted for me to follow her. So we walked down into a tunnel for a few dozen yards that led under the city dome, and then back up. The observatory was just outside the dome, where astronomers could observe the sky without interference. Once inside her study, she pressed a few buttons, and a very low rumble of machinery resonated through the room. She looked through a small eyepiece for a moment, then pressed a button, and an image popped up on the computer screen. Mom pointed at a blue and white dot blown up to the size of a fist. The planet looked pretty, but I saw no detail at all, just a splash of blue and white.

Mom's hands were shaking, like she wanted to talk so bad but couldn't. Instead, she pressed another few buttons on a recording device, and turned up the volume.

At first all I heard was an annoying whining sound mixed with random static. But as she raised the volume, I could hear faint voices mixed in with the noise. I had no idea what they were saying, but I could hear enough to know they were not speaking a Kryptonian language.

"Is this coming from the blue planet?" I asked. Then it finally hit me what she was trying to say. "Is this … where we are going?"

* * *

I wanted to wake dad and ask him many questions about what mom just showed me, but he needed to sleep so badly, I couldn't bring myself to wake him. Instead, I left home when I heard a commotion from outside.

About two blocks away from my home was a justice building where petty criminals were jailed, and dangerous criminals were sent into the Phantom Zone using special projectors.

Protestors were gathered around the building peacefully, but with an intensity that made me nervous. Two armed guards blocked the entrance to the building, while Jer-Em led the crowd in solemn prayers and angry chants.

They carried competing banners and chanted things like:

"Live free, die free!"

"Phantasy Zone!"

"Trust in Rao!"

"Let Science save us all!"

Otto was there, standing alone and staying as far away from his dad as he could. I dodged my way through the crowd to him and asked him what was going on.

Otto explained, "Some people are trying to organize what they are calling a 'zone party.' They want to spend as much time together before the meteors hit, and in the final few hours, pass together into the Phantom Zone. They hope if they pass together, at the same time, they can spend eternity together in the zone."

"That sounds so beautiful!" I replied weakly. I felt like crying. I had just learned about a blue planet 50 light years away, but that was just a blur in a telescope, a pipe dream. These people had a real plan. It felt so right and spiritual: all of us embracing our fate and sharing in it together. "What is the problem? Why are they protesting?"

"My father," Otto replied with the same shame he always felt when talking about his father. "He and the Religious Guild want to stop it. I think they want to destroy the projectors."

"Why the hell would they do that?" I replied loudly, deeply offended that anyone would try to prevent such a beautiful plan.

"My father says that the projectors offend Rao, and that we all need to have faith in Rao's plans for us," Otto replied mockingly. "He says that some people putting their faith in technology could jeopardize Rao's mercy towards us all."

"What mercy?" I almost shouted. Otto took a step back. He must have seen the anger in my eyes. "What right does he have to tell people what to believe?"

Otto shrugged. "It's all the same to me. Believing in an ancient god or having hope in some kind of interdimensional space that nobody understands. It's all just wishful thinking if you ask me."

I lost my anger, but not my determination. "I don't know. Maybe we are all lying to ourselves, but the zoners are acting out of love and putting their faith in each other. The Religious Guild wants us to fear Rao. If I'm going to die, I want to die with people who love, not with people who fear."

I stepped away from Otto and into the pro-zone crowd, and joined in with their chanting. A very old couple who looked like they have been facing death for a long time smiled at me and patted me on my back.

Suddenly, the crowd yelled a little louder, and I noticed that Otto was standing beside me. The shame and indifference he showed a minute before was gone, replaced by a fervor and sense of rebellion.

When Jer-Em looked our way from his prominent place among the opposing protesters, his eyes widened. Jer-Em had never shown any approval or pride in his son Otto, but after this, Jer-Em would disown his son completely. And Otto seemed completely OK with that.

* * *

A week passed, and only a week remained. I barely recognized my neighbors anymore. Some people I had thought were gentle were now hostile. Others who were always the life of the party were now little more than zombies. The most rational among us abandoned their wits and gambled their souls on the craziest of superstitions. I wondered if I had changed, too.

I wanted to spend more time with my parents, but my dad was obsessed with that blue planet, but wouldn't talk about it to me, but demanded that I be excited about it, but forbid me to talk about it to anyone. When I told him I had to tell my friends (how could he ask me not too?), he slapped me hard in the face, then immediately apologized, but I was already out the door. Enough of that shit.

As soon as I was out the door, I was accosted by Rella Jax-Ur, a neighbor my parents often entertained, and who had always been friendly to me since I was a child, but now she was frantic and pushy.

"Oh there you are, little Kara," she said, though I was almost as tall as she was now. "Where are you off to in such a big rush?"

Not that it was any of her business, but I didn't want to be as rude as she was being, so I answered, "I'm off to meet my friends."

"Playing with friends!" She sneered. "Don't you think it's time to put childish things behind? The day of reckoning is near."

I shrugged, "What is more important than being with friends? What would you have me do?"

"Maybe attend the temple," she offered. It almost seemed like an order. "We all need Rao on our side these days. In fact, your parents might do well to attend themselves. I haven't seen them in town in weeks. They always seem hidden away at home. What are they working on so hard in there?"

She ended that question with a nonchalant shrug, as if she didn't really care, but the look in her eyes gave her away. That was the only question she cared about. Everything else she had said was small talk. She had waited outside my home, ready to ambush me with this question.

Oh dad, you were right! What would happen if I told her the truth, that my parents were planning to escape Argo City, but only a few people could make the trip?

I pretended I didn't understand her question, and replied, "Maybe you are right, maybe we should stop being selfish and join the good people of Argo City in temple. I'll talk to my parents as soon as I come back home later."

I began to walk away. Rella tried to continue the conversation, but I just ignored her and walked faster.

The walk to the star strip was slow and nerve wracking, because the whole city was out in the streets. The crowds protesting at the justice building grew each day. Sometimes fights broke out, because workers stopped doing their jobs. Homes lost electricity, food and water. Everywhere I looked, I was reminded that the fragile bubble in which we were all living our lives was about to pop.

I arrived late at the strip to find that Morina, Otto and Kurt were already there.

"Did you run into any trouble on the way here," Kurt asked.

"No," I lied, "everything is ok."

He nodded, understanding. There was something about how Kurt held his chin high and his shoulders broadly. Like everyone else in Argo City, Kurt had changed since this crisis began. He had morphed from a boy into a man overnight.

Otto had changed, too, though even more recently. Since standing up to his father, he had stopped whining and started fighting for his own identity. He had joined the "Zone Party", as they now called themselves. If these were his final days, he would face them on his own terms, not on his father's.

I hoped I was changing like them. I hoped I was becoming stronger, more mature, but I felt like I was sinking. I had never loved my friends more than I did right now, and the sadness and despair were always rising to the rim, ready to overflow. I didn't want to be the little girl right then that brought everyone else down.

Morina beat me to it. "Bullshit!" she said. "You can't walk 10 feet through town without being assaulted, shoved or followed by some creep. And it's only going to get worse." She burst into tears.

She was the first, but I followed just a split second later. Damn I wasn't any stronger. The weight of everything had settled on me so slowly that I didn't realize how heavy it was, until it took down Morina, and one by one we all collapsed under the weight. Kurt pulled both of us girls into a hug, and Otto joined in a moment later, like four tears merging into an ocean of sadness.

* * *

35 hours and 26 minutes left before the first meteor would strike, according to my mom's calculations. The first meteor would hit just outside of Argo City, causing what would feel like a severe earthquake, but that would only be a taste of what the next several meteors would bring.

By now several people visited our home, asking what my dad was doing in secret. He had refused to tell, but earlier today a city official with police escort demanded entrance, and he had to relent. He led them under the observatory and into a bay where cargo ships once carried people and supplies from Krypton. Parts of several old space ships were littered around the bay, but one large missile was propped up in the open. The official asked what good one missile could do. Dad told the official that he was preparing the missile to strike one of the meteors, in the hopes it would disrupt the others, but it was a long shot. Really, if the official knew any better, he would realize that it was no shot at all, but for now he bought my dad's explanation.

As soon as the official left, dad seemed to panic. He knew it was only a matter of time before they discovered the truth. I couldn't understand why the officials would not just let us try to escape. After all it was our rocket. But dad told me that in times like these, property meant nothing, and the rights society allows us are thrown out the window. Our rocket would become someone else's property just like that.

He leaned against the wall quietly, thinking for a long time and collecting himself, then was suddenly calm again and full of determination.

"Did you eat anything this morning?" he asked mysteriously.

I shook my head.

"Good. Don't eat anything, and relieve yourself if you need to. It is time, we can't wait any longer. I'll get the rocket ready."

"But..." I stared at him, shaking my head. "But we have more than a day left!"

"We might not even have an hour," he replied, and then turned away and briskly went about preparations.

He didn't give me a chance to respond, and he didn't look at my face, but if he had, he would have seen the anger in my eyes. He couldn't make me do this. He couldn't force me to leave my friends. He never even asked me how I felt about this. I didn't know what to hope for, because every hope seemed so hopeless. Could we really escape to that small blue planet, or would we be lost in space? If we did what Rao wanted, would we really see paradise, or was that just an old fable? Could my friends and I escape death in the Phantom Zone, and would that afterlife be more like Heaven or more like Hell?

Right then I decided: my parents could try their luck on a new world, but I wanted to be with my friends in the Phantom Zone. If there was any chance to be with them, I wanted to take that chance.

While dad busily prepared the rocket, I slipped outside and made my escape.

* * *

Only about 100 yards from my home, a crowd that seemed impossibly massive was gathering at the justice building, where the Phantom Zone projectors were stationed. A few armed men guarded the building's entrance, with dozens of angry Argonians standing in front of them, determined to protect the building and the projectors. Less than a stone's throw away, an opposing team of angry Argonians gathered, led by Jer-Em. Yells and curses shot back and forth the divide like arrows.

Many isolated people stood back at a distance, watching as the drama unfolded. Kurt-El was one such onlooker. As I approached him, I paused for a moment, because he looked very sad.

"Kurt!" I yelled over the noise, "What is going on here?"

He gestured towards the guards, and now I could see one of those guards was Otto. "The Religious Guild just demanded that the guards let them in," Kurt replied. "They say they have the authority. But none of us respect their authority. This could get ugly."

"This is already ugly," I replied. "Where is Morena?"

Kurt stared at me for a moment, and when I asked that question, it was like I broke his heart. "She's dead."

I shook my head, and all I could say was, "No!"

"We found her this morning. I guess she took some pills to help her sleep." He turned around as if trying to turn away from the truth. "She took too many."

I just starting weeping uncontrollably. "Why couldn't she wait? We could have gone together."

Kurt-El shrugged. "Maybe hers was the best way. She went quietly."

"No!" I yelled, shoving him. "We need to do this together!"

Kurt was as sad as I was, but I could see him trying to be strong for my sake. He said, "She went first, but maybe we'll all be together again soon, wherever we are going."

Just then we heard a scream, and the two crowds crossed the divide. Some people fled, while others rushed into the fight. I could see Otto and the guards holding their ground until the fight reached them. It was only a matter of time for all of us, but the dying was already underway.

Kurt wanted to join the fray, but I grabbed him and held him back with a tight hug. "Don't you dare!"

Then a fist wrapped around my wrist and pulled me away from Kurt. It pulled so hard I fell to the ground, but it did not release me. I looked up to see my father. His face was stern, like he was dealing with a disobedient infant. "Come with me NOW, Kara!"

I wriggled and squirmed my way out of his grasp, and tried to hide behind Kurt.

Dad's voice softened and he pleaded. "Please, we don't have much time. If you don't leave now, I don't think they will let the ship leave at all!"

Kurt was as bewildered as he was anxious. "What does he mean, Kara?"

"He thinks we can escape. He wants me to go to another planet," I confessed. "But I don't want to leave! I want to go with you and Otto!"

Kurt shook his head and somehow managed to laugh despite everything that was going on around us. He pulled me in close and gave me a kiss so hard on my lips that I would have collapsed if he wasn't holding me up. Then he handed me over to my father like I was a precious, delicate thing. He was smiling through his tears. "Don't be crazy, Kara! Go with your father. He's a genius. Otto will agree. I'd rather lose you now to any hope of a real future than die with you tomorrow. Zor-El, please take care of her."

Dad thanked Kurt, then Kurt charged head first into the brawl. That was the last I would ever see of him or Otto.

I felt lost. I felt like Kurt had given up on me. I wanted to give up on everything.

I did not fight as dad then dragged me back home. A man tried to stop us, but dad just shoved him out of the way. Once in our home, he bolted the door shut, and then barricaded the windows.

Mom rushed into the room, tears in her eyes. I wanted to hug her badly, but I knew that was not her way.

Someone banged on the door.

Dad ushered me like a whirlwind down the hall, past the observatory, to the cargo bay, closing and locking every door behind him.

The rocket was now on a stand, and the casing was wide open. For the first time I saw how small this rocket was. There was no spare room at all. And there was only one tiny mattress inside.

"Are there any other rockets?" I asked.

Dad nodded hurriedly, "We just need to get this one off before we put the others on the stand. So step inside."

I tried to step inside, but I couldn't do it on my own. My dad lifted me up and set me down like putting a child into a carriage, then he strapped me in. He couldn't look me in the eye, and he couldn't keep his tears from flowing. I looked around the bay. Except for junk scattered on the floor, it was empty. I couldn't lie to myself anymore. "This is the only rocket," I said, not really a question.

Dad nodded, confessing now that I was strapped in and couldn't fight him anymore. He still couldn't meet my eyes. "Hold still," he said, as he poked something into my arm, "this will help you sleep and feed you. This rocket is one of the fastest ever built, but even so, the trip will take more than 10 days."

"But what if I don't get there? But what if get there, and the planet is empty?" Now I was more scared than sad. "I don't want to die out there all alone!"

"You will get there, I promise," Dad said confidently, "and your mom is sure you will meet people there. Maybe you will even make new friends." He tried to smile reassuringly, but his credibility was plummeting.

My mom was standing beside him, nodding. She reached into the rocket and touched my hand. For her, that was an emotional outburst.

Dad sealed the bottom part of the casing, then looked towards the hallway, listening for banging or some other sound of people coming. The bay was completely silent.

He collected himself, and said, "Try to move on. Don't live in the past. Turn your heart cold, and forget us when you can."

I shut my eyes in a hopeless attempt to stop the tears. "I can't! I won't. You can't me make me forget my friends." I opened my eyes and struggled in vain to reach out to him. "You can't make me forget about you."

Dad insisted, "You must forget. Remembering will eat you up inside. Everything you want to remember fondly will burn you like acid. You will blame yourself for living, for not doing more to save your friends. You will hate yourself for never showing the love you could have shown, for never saying what you should have said. Believe me, I know. But you can never say enough or show enough love, so forget all of that. There is one big thing you can do for us and your friends, though, the only thing that means a damn anymore: You can live."

I tried to tell my parents I loved them, but no sound escaped my lips, and I was mute. I couldn't see clearly, either. Everything was spinning. I felt like I was falling. This must have been the effect of the thing that dad poked into my arm.

Mom and dad each held one of my hands, anchoring me for a minute, until I could hear yelling in the distance.

Dad quickly sealed the last of the casing, leaving me in complete darkness. All I could hear now was a deep hum. All I could feel was a vibration, as the rocket rolled slowly on wheels beneath me. I seemed to be rolling forever. It rolled for so long I was sure that the door to the bay was broken down by now, and someone would stop my rocket from taking off. And I would be so happy to not be saved.

But then the rocket stopped with a thud, and I felt my body shifting up at a high angle. With a massive thrust and a roar lounder than I could scream, I entered the abyss.

* * *

In complete darkness, in complete silence, completely alone and drugged, I couldn't tell when I was awake and when I was dreaming. Except that sometimes I was seeing outside my ship, at stars and planets, but the rocket had no windows. It was like I could see through the metal. So I must have been dreaming.

Time kept on flowing without minutes, hours or days. Eventually I couldn't feel my body anymore. I couldn't hear anything at all, not even my breathing or my heart beat, and I still couldn't speak. Was this what death is like?

I couldn't see the stars anymore. All I could see were colored shapes of memories like tiles spread out across the universe. I felt like I couldn't breathe, but I was not suffocating, just unable to take a breath.

I felt sure I was either dead or going mad. I could see my own body floating naked like a fetus through space. I could see my friends floating by me, reaching for me before disappearing into the distance. Was I looking into the Phantom Zone? Was I looking into heaven?

Then a long period of nothing but darkness and peace and sadness. Nothing. It was a relief. Except for a small itch on my foot that was driving me crazy.

Gradually, one yellow star grew in my vision. I couldn't be seeing it, but it felt so real and warm. I looked closely, and I thought I could see my father in the star, welcoming me, promising me that everything would be alright.

Then a small blue dot became a big blue dot with beautiful whisps of white. I heard the first sounds in an eternity, as the hull of the rocket vibrated violently. The smell of burning air filled my nostrils, before a tremendous explosion slammed my body against the casing of the rocket, breaking the metal panels partially open, and the rocket came to a sudden stop. I felt a horrible pain for a moment, but then I felt perfectly fine. Energized even.

I wanted to break out of my restraints and remove the tube from my arm, but I was afraid to move. The light outside pouring in was blinding. I wanted to block it or shut it off, but I couldn't. I just wanted to hide again in the comfortable darkness.

That way I remained until I heard a whooshing sound, and footsteps outside the rocket. Strong hands ripped the front of the rocket clean off, and a majestic man dressed in red and blue, bearing my family crest, reached inside and delivered me to the new world.


	2. A Supergirl Arises from the Abyss

**Metropolis University, 1998**

I sat on the bed in the dorm room, with the telephone in my hand. I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. My first day with the earth people had been a disaster.

I typed a number into the phone's keypad. The only thing I learned about so far in this crazy world was how to use a phone.

"Hello. Daily Planet."

"Is Clark there?"

"Now listen, Miss Lee, you can't keep calling like this. I told you I'd tell Mr. Kent that you called. Now, Bye." Click.

I felt a wave of desperation overwhelm me.

I crushed the receiver in my hand and just wept. I didn't understand anything here. I could barely even speak the language. Fellow students asked about my accent, and I couldn't tell them where I came from. A young man wanted to walk me back to the dorm, and I accidentally knocked him to the ground; I didn't even understand my own body or my strength.

I didn't even know how to kill myself.

* * *

About four weeks ago, the last society of Krypton perished. A thousand Kryptonian refugees, who had lived for twenty-five years on an inhospitable asteroid under a red sun, finally succumbed. I was one of many desperate people in Argo City, all struggling against our fate. I was poor, hungry, and terrorized.

But I also knew love.

I had many friends whose love became stronger as the end neared. We sang often and danced until we could barely stand, when we finally collapsed and cried in each other's arms. That was how we stayed sane.

And I had my father, Zor-El, who always tried his best to protect me from harm. My father promised me that I would live, and he worked day and night during those final days and hours to keep that promise. That was how he stayed sane, making my life his purpose. When my father said that he would save me by building a ship and sending me on the path that Jor-El coincidentally sent his son on many years ago, I kissed him and gratefully accepted the chance to live.

Four weeks ago, our asteroid collided with a meteor shower. We had seen it coming weeks in advance, yet could only watch.

I saw my people die. I sat in the spaceship and wondered why I was alive. I should have been with them. I should have been with my father. Why did I ever want to live through this?

I was in shock for more than a week as the spacecraft rushed towards a small blue planet. Nothing could've prepared me for that trip. My life, my culture, my people, my universe—erased. And I was spinning in space in a tiny, black box towards a blue and white dot barely visible in our telescopes. I was drowning in emptiness, and disintegrating into the void.

When my spaceship crashed on earth, a man in red and blue was already there at the site. It was Kal-El, the son of Jor-El. He called himself Clark and Superman. The legend took my shell of a person, brought me to his home, and helped me learn how to live again.

He taught me simple things about Earth and tried to teach me English, but I couldn't pay much attention. My life was in shambles. He tried to lighten my spirits by showing me what we Kryptonians could do on Earth; I was amazed, but I knew my new powers couldn't reverse the holocaust that claimed my spirit if not my body.

Two days ago, Kal-El enrolled me in a school called "Metropolis University" and told me that I would live there, now. Just like that!

"I don't understand these people", I told him.

"You need to learn," he replied, as though my life had undergone a minor change. "Just remember, your name is Linda Lee, and always wear the wig. Try to do what you see others doing. I'm sorry, but I am going to have to leave you alone for now."

Kal-El had helped me overcome my culture shock. He understood my problems and my beliefs and some of my language. But Kal-El wasn't here, and I wasn't ready to step into this alien world. Maybe I would never be ready.

* * *

Mary turned the dimmer switch and flooded the dorm room with light. The intense sensation overwhelmed my weary eyes.

"Damn, Linda, what did you do to the phone?"

Mary was my roommate. Mary and I did not hit it off very well.

For one thing, Mary was black, and I had never seen a black person before. Kryptonians all had pale skin and blue eyes. I was shocked at the variety of people who lived at this college.

When I didn't reply to Mary's question about the phone, Mary shook her head. "All right, I'll tell the office that it was broke already. Really, girl, you've gotta get a grip."

Mary grabbed a few things off her dresser and hurried to leave. She stopped with the door half- open and glanced at me. Then she shook her head and left.

I wanted to say good-bye, but I was afraid to say anything. I was afraid of making any more mistakes.

I turned down the lights, again, and wanted to just hide, but I couldn't stop the chaos all around me. A million voices were speaking all at once, and I couldn't stop them, even by covering my ears. When I closed my eyes, I could see through my eyelids and into the next room. I couldn't tell Mary about that. Would she understand? She would think I was insane. I was begining to believe that I was.

Someone was hitting the apartment door. I covered my ears. I wanted to shrink. I wanted to disappear. The banging started again. I looked through my tears, and I looked through the door, but all I saw was a skeleton.

Kal-El stepped in from behind the door, and I think I flew over to him. I held on to him like I held to my father when my mother died. "Kal-El, I can't bear it here another minute!" I said in our native language.

"Shh. Call me Clark and speak in English."

My heart winced hatred towards him. He was the only person who could help me, and yet he forced me to be an impostor, even with him. But I could see his concern, so my heart opened up again.

"I can't talk this English well." I said, trying to voice just one of my frustrations.

He hugged me with one arm and sat me beside him on the bed.

"It's OK, really. Earth has many languages you can hide behind. Tell people you come from a small village in Hungary. I've checked it out—very few Hungarians go to school here, and your accent sounds vaguely hungarian. Say 'Linda Lee' is a name you adopted for America. If you want, you can tell them your real name; I don't think most people will know the difference between an Hungarian and a Kryptonian name. But you should use the name 'Linda Lee'. People will know you are trying to fit in."

I shook my head. "People don't know me a bit... And I don't control myself. I could hurt people." I grabbed my wig and threw it on the floor in disgust.

He picked the wig up, carefully put it back on my head and began stroking the long brown hair. "You may not believe this, but some other students are having similar problems. This school has many foreign students, and many are having as much trouble with this culture and language as you are. You need some stability in your life right now, and so do many of the other students here.

I shook my head in doubt.

"Of course," he continued, "you have special problems, but you have special advantages, too. Be careful about your new powers. Try to limit physical contact until you understand your strength. You might practice holding animals before holding a friend's hand."

I felt more relaxed with him here and with his advice. He had obviously thought a lot about my situation, even when he wasn't with me.

I asked him to stay longer.

"I'm sorry, but I have to be someplace. Several places, really."

But he stayed for about an hour longer, and although I dreaded his departure, I felt more confident that I could handle my new life at least another day.

* * *

For a second night, I couldn't sleep in the dorm. I could hear voices from the party on the second floor merging with the moans of love making down the hall. This time I didn't just lie there and bear it. I left the dorm with a blanket and decided to sleep in the lounge of the library. The library was open all night, but a librarian told me I couldn't sleep there. All the other buildings were locked. I was so tired and frustrated, I just walked out into the woods beside the campus. I slept at the foot of a tree on a mattress of leaves.

While relaxing and preparing for sleep, I looked at the sliver of the earth's moon through the tops of the trees. Back home, we had a patch of woods; the smell of life and the sounds of animals and the gentle breezes all felt so familiar. But we didn't have a moon. I felt like I belonged here, in the woods, and the moon was the outsider.

With this thought, sleep claimed my tired soul, and pleasant dreams filled my night.

* * *

I awoke to the songs of birds. Bird songs were one of the few things about Earth that I really liked. The bright yellow sun illuminated the sky from an unseen horizon, and dew covered my bed of leaves.

I stood up, stretched and yawned, and, amazingly, I felt really good.

I brushed off my pajamas and headed for my dorm.

A few dozen of the fifteen thousand students were trudging quietly about campus. I guessed that the rest were asleep.

Several people stared at me. I must have stood out in by wearing pajamas and carrying a blanket. I didn't care.

I took the stairs instead of the elevator. One glance through the stairs above showed me that I was the lone occupant. I felt a little playful, and I slowly hovered up the stairwell. Kal-El had made it seem easy, but I was bumping against the walls and banisters as I rose. It was my first time, and I couldn't help giggling like a little child doing something naughty but wonderful.

But when I landed, I felt a wave of guilt shake my body, as though a thousand deaths paid for each smile on my face. I paused for a moment and remembered a few of my father's last words to me, "You've always lived in fear of death, Kara, and just once I'd like to see you smile a truly happy smile." I felt dizzy as my father's sacred words battled a thousand cries of blame.

I walked down the hall and met Mary getting dressed in our dorm room.

"Where were you, girl?" She said, looking at my dirty pajamas and ruffled hair.

I didn't know what to tell her, so I just said, "Hi, Mary."

She shook her head. "You gonna get yourself raped, running around dressed like that."

"I'm sorry," I said, not knowing what else to say. I felt the peace I awoke with evaporating.

Mary sighed. "Nothing to be sorry about. Hey, Linda I'm just your roommate, not your mom."

I smiled and thought about what to say, then decided on: "I like you, Mary."

She seemed amused. "You are OK, too."

"I want a shower," I said, as I opened my bureau and thought about what I needed. A towel, some soap and some fresh clothes. One of Kal-El's friends picked out my clothes, but I barely understood how to wear them, much less match them fashionably. I also had a makeup kit that I was afraid to even open. I liked the perfume, though. Mary had said I used too much.

"You and everyone else," Mary said. I shook my head, not grasping, so she continued, "You've got four girls ahead of you for the shower."

I dropped the towel on my bed and sat down across from a mirror on the wall. I looked at my hair in the mirror, and saw a few blonde hairs mixing in with the brown hair from the wig. I fixed the wig and wondered how I was going to keep it a secret from Mary. (Why was I even keeping my hair color a secret, Kal-El, when many Earth girls have blonde hair?)

"Linda, would you like to eat breakfast with me and my friends?"

I must have looked nervous. Eating Earth food was really weird for me. The food was shocking: For dinner yesterday, I ate "spaghetti and meatballs" and had to use a "fork" and "spoon" and "knife". I couldn't figure out how to eat the spaghetti, and just the idea of eating meat disgusted me. I only drank some juice and ate some bread. If I had to eat with other people, I'd be very embarrassed.

When I didn't respond immediately, Mary pressed on, "I don't think there's a Hungarian crowd that you can eat with, but you got to eat with someone. Really, I'd like you to come."

I nodded and smiled despite myself.

* * *

Mary's friends were all black, and I was the only white person at the table. But I guess I would've attracted attention no matter where I sat. Mary pointed out that the combination of my crucifix necklace, my "Black Sabbath" T-shirt with a big "666" between my breasts, and my long checkered skirt, was a "little weird". I thought the clothes were comfortable but decided to change them after breakfast, anyway.

Hotcakes weren't bad. At least I didn't drop them on my lap like I had with the spaghetti, yesterday.

Mary's friends were funny and they smiled a lot. They made me feel comfortable. They said they were "juniors" and that I was a "freshman", and that was why I was so nervous. I felt better knowing there were thousands of nervous freshmen on campus.

* * *

Back in the dorm, I changed into a yellow blouse that hugged my skin and a short black skirt. A very short skirt. I saw another girl wearing something similar yesterday, so maybe I was OK. I've learned already to not wear those thick white socks with my shoes.

While showering earlier, I watched a girl putting on lipstick, so now I decided to try it myself. Most students were at their first class already, so I had the bathroom to myself, and I spent a long time getting the lipstick just right. The girl had put on other makeup as well, but I knew my artistic limits.

I headed off to class with a pack full of books. I took all of my books, since I didn't know which ones I would need. They felt so light on my back, it never occurred to me that other girls would have collapsed under the weight.

* * *

My first class was in an auditorium with 300 students. "Anthropology 105: Society and the Individual." I was fascinated, since the professor was teaching us about how America works in a way I could understand. He even explained the words he used that I didn't understand. This was the first time I felt engrossed with one of my classes.

But I was also aware that many people were looking at me out of the corners of their eyes. At first I thought that I had broken another rule of etiquette, until it struck me that only men were looking at me. One of them was trying to look up my skirt. I shifted my position, but the tiny skirt provided little cover when I was sitting down. Why did girls wear them, anyway?

I felt better when I saw that men were looking at some other women, too. I didn't want any attention, really, but, I thought, at least the attention was normal. I guessed that while we seemed to be in class to learn about Anthropology, the men were in the class to learn about the girls.

Just when that thought occurred to me, the professor said jokingly, "Anthropology is the 'Study of Man,' but don't worry, we'll be studying women, too." I started to giggle at the coincidence, and I felt several men's eyes riveted to me.

* * *

My 5:30 class was "English 101." This class scared me because the professor had us read several pages immediately, in class—and all I saw on those pages were wiggly lines. Only about thirty people attended this class, and we were sitting in a large circle around the classroom, so everybody could see each other. I was terrified that people would find out about me. I was so nervous that I wasn't learning a thing.

Only one man was watching me in this class, since the class was mostly female. He had dark hair and thin eyes, and he couldn't have been any taller than me. I caught him looking up my skirt, and watching me almost constantly during the class.

When class was over, he came up to me. He seemed as nervous as I was. He said, "Your face is very familiar. Do I know you?"

I was surprised, and I said, "I don't know."

He seemed pleased by my reply, so he introduced himself. His name was Ge Hun Si. He came from Thailand, but his father was Chinese.

I told him the story Kal-El gave me. "I'm Linda Lee. I came here from Hungarian."

"Hungary." He corrected.

"No, I ate dinner before."

He thought I was joking, so he laughed and I laughed with him.

"This English is tough," he offered.

I nodded enthusiastically, delighted to find someone who agreed with me. I said, "This class is ... hard for me."

"Me, too." He smiled, then hesitated. "Maybe we should help each other with our homework."

I was extremely relieved by the offer. I nodded and said "Yes, very much... I would like that."

He smiled and looked almost shocked, as though people never studied together. He offered to carry my books. I hesitated, but let him anyway. He could barely lift the pack but seemed determined to carry the pack regardless.

As we walked towards my dorm, the sun was setting, and the sky was turning a beautiful color of red—just like the sky under Krypton's sun.

"You are very pretty." He said, as I was reminiscing.

"Thank you," I said, surprised by the compliment. I knew that Kryptonian men had found me attractive, but I didn't know for sure about Earth men, or Asian men, for that matter. I said, "You are pretty, too."

He shook his head. "Pretty?"

"I'm sorry. You are handsome."

He smiled.

Ge Hun Si told me about his journey to America while we walked to my dorm. He lived in Bangkok his entire life, but his family was Chinese. He learned some English at school, but he didn't learn it very well. His mother and sister were helping him pay for school, and he was very embarrassed about it. He said he didn't mind coming to the strange world of America, because he felt like a stranger in his own country. He always wanted to live in Taiwan and practice psychology, but his debt to his mother and sister would force him to return to Thailand, where he would probably live the rest of his life as a civil engineer.

I didn't understand much of what he was saying. I sympathized with his story, but I felt voiceless to express my own. I wanted to tell him about my life and my losses, but I couldn't. (Why, Clark? Why do I have to live a secret life?) Yet I believed in Clark's wisdom, so I held back. I thought about telling Ge Hun Si that I was an orphan, but then he would want to know more. I had to keep the pain to myself, at least for now.

* * *

Mary was in the dorm when we arrived. She was reading from a large text book and was startled to see me.

"Hi Mary," I said, not knowing enough yet to introduce my new friend.

She nodded, as she stared at my clothes for a moment, then she looked straight at Ge Hun Si.

He put down the book-bag, introduced himself, and they shook hands. He told her of our plans to study together.

Then Mary left with book in hand, saying, "I'll go study in the lounge."

Ge Hun Si and I were alone, now, and I didn't know what to say. Back home I would ask him to pet our cat—a person didn't feel welcome in someone's home unless the cat welcomed him. But, of course, we didn't have a cat in the dorm. I would also ask him to take off his shoes, but I didn't know if Earth people had the same custom. All I could think of was, "Do you want to study, now?"

He shook his head, "Sure."

It took me a moment to figure out that he meant "yes".

I grabbed the book bag (I should have pretended that it felt heavy), and I opened it while sitting down on my bed. I had to guess which book was my English book.

Ge Hun Si looked at me with a strange expression, and then he sat beside me and fetched his own book.

He was holding the same book, so I knew that I guessed right. But what next? I couldn't pretend that I could read for very long, but I didn't want to tell him the truth. Several times today, I fantasized hopefully that many students couldn't read English. Maybe even he couldn't read English, and we were both foolishly feeling the same fear.

I noticed the sweat on his forehead, and the way he clenched his hands. This gave me the courage to tell him.

"Ge Hun Si?"

"Yeah."

"I can't read."

He laughed a short laugh, and then said, "I'm sorry. I had no idea. I also couldn't read English until three years, ago. This class is going to be much harder for you than for me."

That wasn't very reassuring, and I think he saw my frown. I had a sudden nightmare that lasted for about a second: Ge Hun Si told some college authority about my illiteracy, and they threw me out of the dorm and into the unknown again. I dismissed the fear, but I never could be sure if I was being paranoid or not.

Ge Hun Si put down his book and asked, "You can't read at all?"

I shook my head.

"Then you shouldn't be taking this English course," he said with some regret in his voice. "The university has courses for English as a second language. One of my neighbors is taking such a course. You don't have to know English at all."

"You are sure?" I asked, my confidence returning.

"Yeah, I'll help you add one tomorrow, if you want."

I nodded and smiled. "Thank you."

"We can take a trip to the book store after, and exchange your book."

"OK," I said, but I didn't really understand what he was saying. The light in the room was bothering me. I turned the dimmer, until the bulbs changed from white down to a shade of orange, and the corners of the room were almost black.

Ge Hun Si face was blank with surprise, and I guessed that I broke another rule of etiquette by turning the light so low. "I'm sorry. The light was hurting my eyes. Is it OK?"

He nodded and started to take the books off the bed.

I just watched him and thought about how differently everything must have seemed to him. He couldn't hear the background sounds of people chatting in other rooms, or see the moon through the ceiling. I thought of how very strange I had become.

He looked shyly away and said, "I'll need another reason to visit you, now that we won't be going to the same class."

Stupidly, I thought he was saying that he wouldn't be visiting me anymore. I had expected this, yet I was stunned all the same. "I understand," I said, while clenching my hands together. "I should have said the truth before. I wanted to ... to ..."

I started shaking, and I couldn't control my vision; I felt some of the same helplessness that had possessed me yesterday. My first new friend was already rejecting me.

Ge Hun Si took my hand in his and said, "You don't need to say anything at all."

He held my hand like an egg—as if it was a fragile thing. I felt a calm sweep over me, but I didn't know why.

Later, I would understand what this situation meant. I'd understand why he wanted to help me with my homework in my dorm room, and why Mary had left us alone. I could hardly believe it. In my native world, when men wanted to make love to me, they just asked. Now, they try to have it happen by "accident". I guess I was the perfect girl for this ritual, because I was not expecting a thing.

Then again, he was not getting what he expected either.

After caressing my hands like holy objects, I felt all my stress melt away. He looked into my eyes, and I felt my legs go weak. I had been trying so hard to just fit in and understand the people around me, I hadn't thought about being intimate. But from somewhere down deep, desire rose like a whale surfacing from the ocean. The chaos of my emotions rapidly became a focused hope of passion. When he finally kissed me, I felt paralyzed by desire and fear of expressing it.

His intoxicating scent and minty breath put me under a spell. Much later, I learned that earth men didn't smell that good in nature, but for now I was awed by their attractive powers. As he explored my mouth with his lips and tongue, I was careful not to kiss back.

He urged me back onto the bed and slid on top of me. He kissed my lips and then my cheeks, then my eyelids, my ears and then my neck. When his lips settled on one spot, his hands continued to explore. His body rubbed against mine, and I could feel his erection through both of our clothes.

I didn't do a thing. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to hug him and kiss him back, but I was afraid of what I might do under the influence of passion.

He was stroking my hair as he kissed me, when my wig loosened.

His eyes brightened at the discovery, as my blonde hair spread out of the wig onto the sheets. "What a beautiful secret." He kissed my hair, and then began to unbutton my blouse. "What other secrets do you have in here?"

He struggled with my shirt for a moment, but then just tore it open.

I didn't wear a bra, so there was little suspense as my breasts were instantly and fully revealed. He began sucking on my nipples hungrily, as I pinned my arms to my side. It took all my energy not to touch him, but the restraint actually felt exciting and a little kinky. I was the object of his lovemaking, and I found this passive role thrilling. His hands slid my skirt down from my waist, while he worked on my nipples with his tongue.

He didn't look surprised that I wasn't wearing panties (actually, I didn't even know what bras or panties were, yet). I kept my legs open as he dived between them. He kissed my thighs for a moment, but then, losing patience, he buried his face down deep. This was a new kind of lovemaking for me—a wonderful shock—and I couldn't keep my legs from shaking. But I managed to keep them from crushing him within. His tongue explored both deep and all around, then he focused on my clitoris and sent small explosions of pleasure throughout my body, before he began climbing up my body again.

I hadn't noticed that he had lowered his jeans while he was working on my passion. Once again, his mouth explored mine. I could taste some of myself on his lips. Then I felt his penis enter me. Something should have alerted me, but I guess I was consumed by desire. He stroked my hair, fondled my breasts and kissed me, while his penis massaged my insides. What a sensation!

Then his body shook, and he let out a groan. I was instantly alert and alarmed. I had felt my muscles compress on his penis. My legs and my arms and my lips obeyed my will of submission, but my muscles inside had a will of their own.

I was terrified by what I saw. His penis looked misshapen and wrinkled. I felt like a monster, and I turned away.

"What happened?" I said, pretending ignorance, not knowing what to say. I fidgeted with the torn remains of my blouse.

He winced in pain, then smiled at me with an embarrassed smile. "I don't know. I think I twisted it or something. I'm sorry."

He didn't sound like I imagined a mutilated man would sound, so I looked again at his penis. I felt a great weight lift from my conscience when I saw that he was wearing a flesh-colored rubber cover over his penis, and the organ underneath looked normal.

But I knew I had hurt him, even if he wasn't hurt bad. And I could have injured him much more seriously. What if I had kissed him back? or embraced him? I covered my face with my hands, and lamented in Kryptonian, "I am a monster!"

Ge Hun Si sat beside me and hugged me. He tried to comfort me, yet he couldn't understand my anxiety.

"What's wrong, Linda?" he whispered while kissing my hair. "I'm sorry I messed up. I'm not very experienced at sex. I guess I was eager. I promise I'll do better next time."

I saw his embarrassment. He didn't understand. "We can't do this, again."

He shut his eyes, and sighed. "That's OK. But I hope you will change your mind, because ... I like you very much."

I smiled and saw the honesty in his eyes. We spent a silent minute, just looking into each other's eyes. Obviously, he didn't think I was a monster.

"You don't know me at all." I said.

"I know you are a nice person. I know you are very attractive, and I know we feel good with each other."

I nodded, and I decided. "I want to tell you the truth."

"The truth?"

"You can't tell anyone!" I turned cautious, afraid of making another mistake—yet determined to tell him, nevertheless.

"Sure. Of course. What's the big secret?"

"I'm not Hungarian," I said, hesitating, "and my name is really Kara."

He nodded. "OK, then Kara. Where ARE you from?"

"A place called Argo City. People here would say I'm a Kryptonian."

He nodded unconsciously, and then just stared at me for a moment. "You mean where Superman came from?"

"Yes," I said, and I felt relief that now someone knew.

He shook his head in silence, then said, "oh, poor Linda. I had no idea. You are going to need some help."

I nodded, "Yes, it's hard." Did he really understand?

He was quiet for a long time. "I think we should go see someone," he finally said while rising from the bed. "Do you feel up to meeting someone, now?"

I stood up, myself. "You said it was secret."

"He will keep it a secret. Helping people with secrets is his job."

"Can he help me control what I see and hear?" I asked while finding a new shirt and dressing myself again. "I am always hearing things and seeing things that aren't even in the room."

He looked concerned. "I hope he can, Linda. I really do," he said as he dialed a number on the new telephone.

"Thank you," I said, while fixing my wig.

"What for?"

I shrugged, "Just thank you."

* * *

Ge Hun Si was awfully quiet, as we left the dorm. I thought he would have a lot of questions, but just asked me how I felt. I said I felt fine, but he acted like I was in pain. He held me in half an embrace while we walked.

He treated me with such care that I actually felt physically vulnerable. As we walked along the moonlit street, I felt comforted by his sheltering arm. His arm protected me from the stares of strangers, and ghosts that had followed me to earth.

"Where are we going," I asked, noticing that we were leaving campus grounds.

"His office is off-campus," he replied.

The scenery was changing. Now, many cars were parked along the side of the road, and all the buildings had lit signs. A lot of noise was coming out of a large, rusty blue vehicle.

A few men got out of the vehicle. They smelled funny, and they looked a bit dizzy. Ge Hun Si did not look at them, but he urged me to move faster.

"Where's the fire, slant eyes," one said.

Another said nothing, but spouted out words and obscenities rapid fire, as though he lived in accelerated time.

A third ran out in our way, forcing us to pause. Obviously, they meant us no good, but I didn't know what they wanted.

Ge Hun Si was sweating, as he whispered in my ear, "Run, Linda." And he stood in an odd stance.

"Oh, the china man thinks he's a karate expert," the largest one said, and he took a similar stance, but he appeared much more confident than Ge Hun Si.

Ge Hun Si muttered a curse I couldn't understand. He was panicky. "Run Linda, now!"

One of the men grabbed my arm, and I had an impulse to hit him. But I would probably have killed him. Maybe he deserved it, but I couldn't understand why they were attacking us, and I was afraid he was just a victim himself. Maybe he was like we were on Argo City during those last few days, driven mad by our terrifying destiny.

I ignored his hand, and I put my arms around Ge Hun Si.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could ..." Ge Hun Si began, then stopped as we levitated off the ground. I struggled to keep our flight steady. I bumped his head off a tree limb ("Sorry"), and then settled us on a nest of intertwined branches.

Our attackers stood as still as statues, and then one said to the others, "Damn, did she just do that, or am I just too stoned."

No one answered him, and the stunned druggies got back in their van.

Ge Hun Si touched the bump on his head. He looked at me in disbelief himself. Then he said, "You were telling the truth."

"Of course," I said, wondering why he thought I lied.

He touched my cheek, as awe filled his face. "I thought you were a special girl, but I couldn't believe you were a supergirl."

"Supergirl?" I asked, smiling at the idea.

"Yeah, MY Supergirl." He removed my wig and ran his hands through my hair, "with her super hair of gold."

I felt a burst of confidence, and I leaned forward to kiss him. He didn't scream in pain, as I curled my lips around his. Then when I embraced him, I didn't hear him struggle for breath.

"Don't worry," he said, "Nothing could make me tell your secret."

"You don't want to tell anyone?" I asked, suddenly tempted by the idea of telling all of earth.

He shook his head. "Supergirl will belong to the world some day, but I want you for myself."

I smiled, and we had a special few minutes up in that tree.


End file.
